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13
It’s party time! My friend has just got back from university to spend her 21st birthday over here. So, I inevitably got thinking about the theological implications of parties. I probably wouldn’t think about this, I’m not that sad, but it seems the waters have become muddy when it comes to how a Christian should behave and participate at a party. What about alcohol? What about dancing? What about having (dare I say!) fun?
I remember going to parties before I was a Christian with my friends. Every week we’d get as much alcohol as we could possibly afford together, go round someones house, get very drunk, be sick, pass out, and then wake up the next morning on the floor with a hangover. Those were the days when I didn’t have to worry so much about the ethical implications… things have changed.
Just after becoming a Christian I was probably the worst person to have at one of those parties. I would still go out with my friends every weekend. But no drinking, no making rude jokes, no ‘carnal’ conversation, no putting random food in a blender to see what it would taste like, no deep-fried mars bars, no games that involved sexual inuendos, no fun. I eventually started to not get invited to those parties, and subsequently lost contact with most of my non-Christian friends.
I have lightened up since. Gone are the days when I can’t have fun incase I accidently sin. But neither do I get invited to interesting parties anymore. It’ll be interesting to see what happens tonight. I hope I don’t kill the mood.
How do you behave at parties?
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I was never much of a party-person, before or after coming into the faith.
Generally speaking, I participate in just about anything as long as it doesn’t involve the following:
*Breaking the law (Anything greater-than-or-equal-to spending time in jail is big no-no.)
*Personally drinking alcohol (Have neither a taste, nor a desire, for alcohol.)
*Overt sexual acts (I don’t think I’ll be all that comfortable knowing that fornication is occurring in the hot tub of a house party I’m attending.)
(At least those three things; there are other minor, subjective things that my conscience may forbid me from participating in.)
Although, I did go clubbing once with other young 20-somethings from my church: I’d count it as one of the worst experiences I’ve had ‘partying’. There wasn’t any real socializing, just hopping between clubs with music so loud I thought my head would explode. The clubs were dark and crowded, the bouncers were mean, and at the end of the night, I was wondering why I didn’t just go home to do something better (like sleep).
As far as socializing goes, I’ll talk to anybody about most anything they want to talk about, ‘carnal’ or not (of course, I’ll speak from a Christian world-view). I also don’t have much of an issue being around drunk people - honestly, and this probably isn’t good, but they do provide a sad-kind of entertainment for me (i.e., stories to tell my other friends later). Otherwise, I’m willing to try anything at least once (which is why I went clubbing), to hang out, talk, and have fun even if I’ll never go to or do that particular thing again.
Of course, there’s the ‘appearance of evil’ clause more conservative Christians pull out to condemn those Christians who are more liberal in their definition of ‘party’. My usual response to that is this: “If I’m genuinely causing a brother in Christ to stumble in his faith because of something I’m doing, then I’ll stop. If I’m doing something that is expressly forbidden in Scripture, then I’ll stop. Otherwise, who are you to judge my conscience? Leave me alone, you goody-two-shoes!” (OK, I probably won’t say that last sentence, but I’ll definitely be thinking it.)
Oh well…here goes..I’ve been bordering on being excommunicated from sites before(or the Reformed version of excommunication anyhow)…so… in for a penny in for a pound!
Ben..you are a great bloke and I am glad you are asking this question because the typical “Christian” approach bothers me.
When Jesus went and ate/socialised/partied to Matthews house he hung out with Matthews friends “the tax collectors and sinners” much to the horror of the Pharisees. I feel we can get too Phrisaical in our approach to all this.
…and if that doesn’t get me into trouble wait for this one…at the wedding at Cana in Galilee where Jesus turned water into wine…he and his disciples went and socialised…and when the guests were presumably well oiled, and the wine ran out…what did he do? sauy “Thank goodness that’s over and done with! Just look at the state they are all in! I can get away from these people now” No…he gave them more…and even better, stronger quality wine than they had had before it had all run out!
Now I am not condoning a laissez-faire anything goes attitude but I do believe that we need to seriously take to heart Jesus’ teaching that it is not the healthy who need a doctor but the sick, and that he did not come just to call the righteous and the respectable. In fact it appears to be the opposite. I feel we need to integrate more rather than separate ourselves from “party people”. I think Jesus was an attractive man to be around, and non-religious people enjoyed spending time in his company.
I think he did not seek pleasure for pleasure’s sake, but he knew how to have a great time amongst non-religious people without compromising his beliefs or coming over a bit prudish and stand-offish.
Ben
Sorry..what I also meant to add was that I hope you had a great night at your friend’s 21st. Look forward to hearing about it.
Hope a few really intersting party invites come your way real soon!
Thanks phil,
It was a great time and I well enjoyed it. I didn’t feel like drinking much at the time but I made up for it at the desert buffet ;). We did a funny dance called a ‘kalie’? I went up 2 or 3 times, sometimes with other guys just to spice things up a bit. A lot of Christians turned up, which I wasn’t expecting (not as many anyway). In the end I give it a 7 out of 10. I didn’t get upto anything too bizarre though, and neither did I pull a pharisee on anyone.
- Ben